We’ve been married for almost 18 years. And our marriage is a rather good one.
We don’t fight or yell.
We enjoy being together.
We are united in our parenting.
We have good communication.
But, recently my husband pushed our marriage to the next level by doing this one thing that had IMMEDIATE positive effect on our marriage.
It was a Game. Changer. And it was so simple I almost didn’t notice.
It was a Saturday. And normally, Saturdays are busy. Basketball games, track meets, orchestra practice, golf practice, and other kids’ activities take up most of the day. But this Saturday, being winter break, was different because there were no sports that day.
So. Leaving the kids home to play video games, my husband decided to take me out to lunch.
While eating lunch, we started our typical conversation about the typical stuff…the kids, the schedule, house projects, ministry stuff, finances, blah, blah, blah..
But THEN. He started asking questions about…
my goals for the year,
my interests and skills,
my likes and dislikes,
my passions and hobbies,
what I want to accomplish in the next 5 years, in 10 years.
He asked me what he could do to “set me up for success” in my life; both now and in 8 years when the kids will all be out of the house.
He LISTENED and ENGAGED with my answers and showed support for all the things that I get excited about.
Normally, our conversations have to do with my ROLE as a wife and mom. But this time, he asked me questions that had to do with ME as an individual, as a person, as his sister in Christ. He was seeking to understand me. (1 Peter 3:7)
Now don’t get me wrong. I LOVE being a wife and a mom. I see it as my primary purpose and divine “calling”. I receive much blessing, joy and meaning from it. Separating ME from my role is a blurry line. It’s part of my identity.
But it’s not ALL of my identity. There’s MORE TO ME than just being a wife and mom. Marriage and motherhood is not eternal. It is temporary and fleeting. First and foremost, I’m a child of God made in the image of God, a co-heir with Christ and part of the church, the body of Christ. I will not be his wife forever, but I will be his sister in Christ for eternity. And that day, he tapped into my life and my heart that went WAY beyond my domestic responsibilities.
He was getting to know me all over again. And it made me love him like never before.
Husbands, want to improve your marriage?
Get to know your wife as a person and an individual WORTH KNOWING.
And then watch her light up.